IT'S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY

It's OK to not be OK.

I've been dealing with something; probably fear. Probably anxiety. I really don't know what to call it. Other than insomnia. I just know I'm not totally OK.

This kid introduced me to a love I never knew existed so, when I hold or look at him I worry about my ability to expand on that love. Can I hold that space in my heart for another child?
I worry about giving more of myself when I already feel like I'm giving so much. I worry about giving up more time; me time, workout time, work time. I worry that I'm not maternal enough, nurturing enough, or tender enough to have two. And lord, do worry about being patient enough. I like order. I like clean. I thrive in an organized, routine environment. 
I worry about being OK. I think I will be. I usually am. I'm pretty damn tough.

So this morning I got on my mat. I flipped upside down. I took some deep breaths and I let myself be OK with not being totally OK.

Motherhood Mondays is a new series celebrating motherhood and the women who shape the future one (sometimes more than one) tiny human at time.Share your story of motherhood by using the hashtag #MotherhoodMonday on Instagram or send us your story via email.